Secrets and Lies and the F Word

This is not the post that I had planned to share today. But I have been keeping secrets and telling lies, and it’s time to come clean.

Things are hard right now.

But when people ask how things are going, I say words like ‘great’, ‘fine thanks’, ‘good’….

The truth is that things are not fine. They are sloooooooowwwwwww and have been for some time. An awesome project that I’ve been so excited to start work on, has fallen through.

I’ve held on well past all sense and reason, and the future now looks increasingly uncertain and scary.

But that’s not something anyone needs to know right?

So I keep my worries secret.

I lie when you ask me how things are going.

And I berate myself with the F word. Because this all means I’m a Failure, right?

So what now?

Well, "When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming." Dory – Finding Nemo

So. Here I am. Swimming.