Best Friends
We are told to be kind to ourselves. To take care of our minds and our bodies. To be our own best friend. I am not very good at it. You might not be either, In which case, this is for you.
I am not always friends with me
I eat too much chocolate. I eat too much, full stop. I don’t do yoga or deep breath work (whatever that is....) Or any form of proper exercise. I meditate sporadically, mainly when I think my mind is about to explode if I don’t do something to calm it down.
I have a very long list of things to do (don’t we all) that I never get through and I feel lousy about myself for not doing all the things. I procrastinate on things that I know I should do, but feel too hard or too boring, and I tell myself I’m lazy. I do not like cooking and do as little of it as humanly possible. Again, lazy. There are endless ways in which I fail to be a good mum, a good wife, a good daughter, a good friend, a good person etc. etc. I actively sabotage myself and berate myself for all the ways in which I am a complete failure.
I used to have an imaginary best friend
I would lie in bed dreaming of my imaginary best friend when I was young. She was almost me, but she was pretty and popular. She defended me and hung out with me when no one else would. She listened to me without judgement and she thought I was funny and cool. She didn’t think I was a failure. We did together all the things that we loved.
I never had a real best friend as a child, but as an adult, I have a small number of very good friends, whom I love very much. But they are not, cannot (and should not) be there for me at all times. Sometimes there is no one who can be there for me, except me. And sometimes there will be no one who can be there for you. Except you.
Tiny fairies
These little fairies are pieces of my soul. When I fail, when things go wrong, when I berate myself and tell myself mean things, they are always kind and understanding. When I can’t be my own friend, they look after me.
They are in my studio with me, they are on my phone.
Nox loves the dark. She reminds me that it’s ok to be afraid. That you can come to love something that you once feared. She helps me to feel peaceful.
Esmerelda’s imagination is full of sparkly and beautiful ideas. She reminds me that it’s ok to dream, to fail and to try again. She says that you can’t tame creativity, and you shouldn’t try. She says what’s meant for me will come to me.
Georgie is brave and strong. She gives me courage to do things my way, to be different and believe in myself. To have strength in my convictions and take adventures into the unknown.
Solace is kind and generous. She is compassionate and understanding and cares for others with a neverending gentleness. She reminds me that love is stronger than hate, that everyone needs looking after, even me.
Merryn is curious and quietly tenacious. She is playful and optimistic. She doesn’t give up when things get hard. She keeps swimming. She helps me to keep swimming.
If you need a friend
If, like me, you’re not always very kind to yourself, I offer them to you. I have them all as different focus profiles on my phone and they make me smile and keep me company.
Here they are for your phone1, if you need them too.
I’d love to share more of my work with you and others, if you would like to explore using my drawings for your business/newsletter, please do get in touch for collaboration or licencing opportunities.
Bye for now,
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Oh such a gift! I am needing some of Georgie’s magic medicine at the moment... helping me carve my own path in many ways!
Whenever I feel like I’m not doing all the things I ‘should ’ I also like to reframe it as being human... learning... and showing my girls that it’s ok to not be perfect, or that it’s safe to make mistakes.
Xxx
You were talking about me right? That list where all the items are never ticked off, the too much chocolate, the sporadic meditation when really it’s too late?
I am so guilty of all of the above and more... I don’t have a stop button, I never did... I think I need a fairy 🧚🏽♂️ thank you for this Emily... 🙏🏽