It’s OK not to be a full time creative. It’s OK not to earn a living from your artwork. It’s OK if your creativity doesn’t pay the bills. Of course it's great if it does, but is that really the point?
This makes me think of Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. She talks about how we so often ask our creativity to support us, when it should be the reverse -- us doing whatever we can to support our creativity.
Perhaps you shouldn’t think of it as a fail Lovely, more an epiphany..!
“I write about things that I draw and I draw to accompany things that I write and I share my pictures…”
This speaks volumes to me… it’s a sort of ‘do what you love and love what you do’ moment… and I’ve felt it here too !
Like you I love to be creative, for so many reasons and in myriad ways, cooking, knitting, painting, gardening, photography and writing - all are my passions… I love to spend time on each of those things as often as possible but the moment they have become a job, with deadlines and schedules and yes, that terror of all terrors - administration - I am incapable of even a modicum of interest..!
So I create because I love to, for me, for my friends - no pressure with all the magic and passion I’ve always had..! Just like you… and I think you are wise to have made this discovery too, you are a beautiful artistic brilliant and gifted artist… don’t ever forget it just because it doesn’t pay the bills..!
“But I have learned that my inner creativity is fragile and precious. I want to nurture and protect it, I don’t want to destroy it with responsibility and overwhelm it with obligation. I don’t want my creativity to feel like my job.”
I just can’t tell you how much these beautiful words resonate with me. THANK YOU! I thought it was just me who felt this way. When my hobby was only my hobby it brought me so much joy and fulfillment. Then my hobby evolved into insta likes and sales and shows and galleries. Walking into my studio was heavy and that felt like I lost something precious in my life. So I decided at the beginning of this year just to stop everything. From now on I’ll only create for myself and I’ll give some of what I create away as gifts.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m in a very similar place in my creative journey. I’m trying very hard to not feel guilty because I can’t support myself with my art but instead realize it’s a gift.
I'm so happy that you share so openly, Emily. I've been in the process of writing a post about the privilege of being an artist for a few weeks now, adding words, removing bits. It pretty much comes down to the same thing: having art in your life is for all, but making a full-time living of it is for the privileged few. Especially if you don't have to worry about bills to pay.
As a working class artist (as I call myself), it's been a battle for years to stay afloat. To a point that I didn't want to make art at all anymore. I think your perspective adds so much breathing space for lots of artists.
I've always thought it was okay to have a job next to your art practice, even though some will tell you that it doesn't count. But that's privilege speaking. People who want to gatekeep the art world.
I love and value your honesty. I think what you’ve done is brilliant because you’ve experimented and found the best way for you. Creativity is surely about tapping into our individual needs and carving a path that suits best.
Thank you thank you thank you. 💛 It's so easy for creatives to feel like if our work isn't paying, we're somehow 'failing' or wasting time on it. And yet, the only time creativity is actually a failure is when paying becomes its ONLY point.
In my experience art always sooner or later begins to rebel when put against the pressure of making money from it. It needs attention for the sake of attention. It always happens. Art and money have opposing energies entirely, hence for millenia with millions of examples throughout history art is art, earning money to pay the bills is something else.
Just beautiful.. beautiful words spoken from your heart to the heart of your readers or listeners in my case.
I have tears in my eyes .. tears that began to well up as you began the paragraph about “ that’s not the point” for a penny dropped for me as I took in your words.
I am a published author of one memoir and contributed chapters to several inspirational books each one telling a part of my life story, each one written to reach across the world to those who need to hear my words, to know they’re not alone in thinking or feeling as they do and to know they’re loved and accepted.
That’s there is hope in the midst of the seemingly chaotic world they’re living in.
I’m often congratulated for all I’m doing and how successful I am. I thank those who say this but smile inwardly.. as only I know the cavernous gulf between the royalties I receive and the social media impressions they see.. yet I only tell what I’m actually doing and I’m doing a lot to be visible,
I’ve often felt discouraged and disheartened by this gulf .. tonight you’ve righted my thinking .. helped me reframe .. I’m not writing to win a BIBA award - yet I submitted my book , I’m not writing or speaking to rise to the higher echelons of the writing profession.
That’s not the point - I’m writing on here and in my books to tell the secret stories many women carry in their hearts, fearful of speaking their truth for fear of rejection, physical retribution and the subsequent pain that isolation brings.
My words are written to set these prisoners free - that’s the point.
Thank you for reminding me of my purpose .. I needed this.
I can relate to this so much as one who has dabbled in many different mediums, had two different Etsy shops, and somehow can't seem to grow anything into a proper business. I came to the realization long ago that I create simply because I must and that if I can one day earn a living through creating it will be an added perk, but it is not the main reason for continuing to create.
This is so lovely, especially the last part about what the point is to all of your creative adventures. 💓 I just wrote a piece about chasing a "dream life" instead of a "dream job" - both can theoretically involve art making but it's so much more freeing to uphold a creative practice just as we envision it without the pressure of making it a career. So I'm right there with you!
Thank you so much for writing these beautiful words. I'm turning 30 this year, and I feel like it's finally time to explore my creativity and see where it takes me. Would I love to make money from my work? Of course. But, like you wrote, that's not the point. The point is to be creative, to let myself fall in love with stories, to create characters who resonate with readers, to connect with other likeminded souls. This post is such a wonderful reminder of that!
I’ve never been able to make a living as an artist even when I chose the most marketable skill I had and tried wedding photography. There’s something wrong with our culture when it tells us the only value in art is if there’s a financial exchange. There are so many reasons and ways to create! I make money with my university job and I monetize art here and there, but it barely breaks even. I’ve had a lot of angst about it at different times in my life, but I feel good about it now. Also I’m enchanted by the illustrations you’ve woven in here. Thanks for sharing your art. 🐝
So incredibly relatable, Emily! I'm really glad you were able to try and see that going full time wasn't for you. Also, that decision in itself may not be forever—we might go round and round, from day job to full time and back again depending on the flux of our creative projects! I'm gearing up to quit my job to focus on my art & writing. In my head I'm positioning it as a sabbatical with full awareness that I will likely go back to get another 9 to 5 after a year or so.
Thanks a lot for sharing! It resonates with me a lot. 1,5 years ago I managed to leave a very toxic job at a university and the idea was to devote my time fully to art making, however, I didn't manage to convert it into a job, struggling from creative blocks and a ton of unexpected "life things". I still want to do art as a business, but now I realise that it will be a slower path for me, and at the moment I am again looking for a job in the academia to be able to pay the bills.
Emily, thank you for sharing your experience and how it made you feel. I'm new to Substack, and I'm finding it so refreshing how open and real everyone is here. Everyone isn't just trying to impress and act like they have the perfect life.
I suppose in the eyes of some people, I'm “making it” as a creative, because I've been a corporate copywriter for a decade. And I am lucky to have the job that I have.
However, I'd always imagined copywriting would be a temporary gig. I thought I'd be able to one day make a living as an author and freelance book editor and leave corporate America behind for good. But I've also run into the problem of inconsistency with freelance book editing projects, and, well, the world of book publishing is a beast. So I've had no choice but to stick with my corporate job to pay the bills.
I've been feeling like a failure a lot lately over the realization that my dream may never happen for me, or that if it does, it won't be until much further in the future, and just trying to come to terms with this.
It's comforting to be reminded that it doesn't make you a failure or take away from who you are as a creative. I don't have a lot of other creative people in my life, so when those I'm closest to hear my plans aren't working out, it always feels like there's this unspoken (though sometimes it's spoken) assumption that I must be doing something wrong or not putting in enough work, which is frustrating. It's just nice to be understood.
This makes me think of Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. She talks about how we so often ask our creativity to support us, when it should be the reverse -- us doing whatever we can to support our creativity.
Perhaps you shouldn’t think of it as a fail Lovely, more an epiphany..!
“I write about things that I draw and I draw to accompany things that I write and I share my pictures…”
This speaks volumes to me… it’s a sort of ‘do what you love and love what you do’ moment… and I’ve felt it here too !
Like you I love to be creative, for so many reasons and in myriad ways, cooking, knitting, painting, gardening, photography and writing - all are my passions… I love to spend time on each of those things as often as possible but the moment they have become a job, with deadlines and schedules and yes, that terror of all terrors - administration - I am incapable of even a modicum of interest..!
So I create because I love to, for me, for my friends - no pressure with all the magic and passion I’ve always had..! Just like you… and I think you are wise to have made this discovery too, you are a beautiful artistic brilliant and gifted artist… don’t ever forget it just because it doesn’t pay the bills..!
Lots of love 💗 xx
“But I have learned that my inner creativity is fragile and precious. I want to nurture and protect it, I don’t want to destroy it with responsibility and overwhelm it with obligation. I don’t want my creativity to feel like my job.”
I just can’t tell you how much these beautiful words resonate with me. THANK YOU! I thought it was just me who felt this way. When my hobby was only my hobby it brought me so much joy and fulfillment. Then my hobby evolved into insta likes and sales and shows and galleries. Walking into my studio was heavy and that felt like I lost something precious in my life. So I decided at the beginning of this year just to stop everything. From now on I’ll only create for myself and I’ll give some of what I create away as gifts.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m in a very similar place in my creative journey. I’m trying very hard to not feel guilty because I can’t support myself with my art but instead realize it’s a gift.
I'm so happy that you share so openly, Emily. I've been in the process of writing a post about the privilege of being an artist for a few weeks now, adding words, removing bits. It pretty much comes down to the same thing: having art in your life is for all, but making a full-time living of it is for the privileged few. Especially if you don't have to worry about bills to pay.
As a working class artist (as I call myself), it's been a battle for years to stay afloat. To a point that I didn't want to make art at all anymore. I think your perspective adds so much breathing space for lots of artists.
I've always thought it was okay to have a job next to your art practice, even though some will tell you that it doesn't count. But that's privilege speaking. People who want to gatekeep the art world.
Thank you for sharing, it means a lot.
I love and value your honesty. I think what you’ve done is brilliant because you’ve experimented and found the best way for you. Creativity is surely about tapping into our individual needs and carving a path that suits best.
Thank you thank you thank you. 💛 It's so easy for creatives to feel like if our work isn't paying, we're somehow 'failing' or wasting time on it. And yet, the only time creativity is actually a failure is when paying becomes its ONLY point.
In my experience art always sooner or later begins to rebel when put against the pressure of making money from it. It needs attention for the sake of attention. It always happens. Art and money have opposing energies entirely, hence for millenia with millions of examples throughout history art is art, earning money to pay the bills is something else.
Just beautiful.. beautiful words spoken from your heart to the heart of your readers or listeners in my case.
I have tears in my eyes .. tears that began to well up as you began the paragraph about “ that’s not the point” for a penny dropped for me as I took in your words.
I am a published author of one memoir and contributed chapters to several inspirational books each one telling a part of my life story, each one written to reach across the world to those who need to hear my words, to know they’re not alone in thinking or feeling as they do and to know they’re loved and accepted.
That’s there is hope in the midst of the seemingly chaotic world they’re living in.
I’m often congratulated for all I’m doing and how successful I am. I thank those who say this but smile inwardly.. as only I know the cavernous gulf between the royalties I receive and the social media impressions they see.. yet I only tell what I’m actually doing and I’m doing a lot to be visible,
I’ve often felt discouraged and disheartened by this gulf .. tonight you’ve righted my thinking .. helped me reframe .. I’m not writing to win a BIBA award - yet I submitted my book , I’m not writing or speaking to rise to the higher echelons of the writing profession.
That’s not the point - I’m writing on here and in my books to tell the secret stories many women carry in their hearts, fearful of speaking their truth for fear of rejection, physical retribution and the subsequent pain that isolation brings.
My words are written to set these prisoners free - that’s the point.
Thank you for reminding me of my purpose .. I needed this.
I can relate to this so much as one who has dabbled in many different mediums, had two different Etsy shops, and somehow can't seem to grow anything into a proper business. I came to the realization long ago that I create simply because I must and that if I can one day earn a living through creating it will be an added perk, but it is not the main reason for continuing to create.
This is so lovely, especially the last part about what the point is to all of your creative adventures. 💓 I just wrote a piece about chasing a "dream life" instead of a "dream job" - both can theoretically involve art making but it's so much more freeing to uphold a creative practice just as we envision it without the pressure of making it a career. So I'm right there with you!
Thank you so much for writing these beautiful words. I'm turning 30 this year, and I feel like it's finally time to explore my creativity and see where it takes me. Would I love to make money from my work? Of course. But, like you wrote, that's not the point. The point is to be creative, to let myself fall in love with stories, to create characters who resonate with readers, to connect with other likeminded souls. This post is such a wonderful reminder of that!
I’ve never been able to make a living as an artist even when I chose the most marketable skill I had and tried wedding photography. There’s something wrong with our culture when it tells us the only value in art is if there’s a financial exchange. There are so many reasons and ways to create! I make money with my university job and I monetize art here and there, but it barely breaks even. I’ve had a lot of angst about it at different times in my life, but I feel good about it now. Also I’m enchanted by the illustrations you’ve woven in here. Thanks for sharing your art. 🐝
So incredibly relatable, Emily! I'm really glad you were able to try and see that going full time wasn't for you. Also, that decision in itself may not be forever—we might go round and round, from day job to full time and back again depending on the flux of our creative projects! I'm gearing up to quit my job to focus on my art & writing. In my head I'm positioning it as a sabbatical with full awareness that I will likely go back to get another 9 to 5 after a year or so.
Thanks a lot for sharing! It resonates with me a lot. 1,5 years ago I managed to leave a very toxic job at a university and the idea was to devote my time fully to art making, however, I didn't manage to convert it into a job, struggling from creative blocks and a ton of unexpected "life things". I still want to do art as a business, but now I realise that it will be a slower path for me, and at the moment I am again looking for a job in the academia to be able to pay the bills.
Emily, thank you for sharing your experience and how it made you feel. I'm new to Substack, and I'm finding it so refreshing how open and real everyone is here. Everyone isn't just trying to impress and act like they have the perfect life.
I suppose in the eyes of some people, I'm “making it” as a creative, because I've been a corporate copywriter for a decade. And I am lucky to have the job that I have.
However, I'd always imagined copywriting would be a temporary gig. I thought I'd be able to one day make a living as an author and freelance book editor and leave corporate America behind for good. But I've also run into the problem of inconsistency with freelance book editing projects, and, well, the world of book publishing is a beast. So I've had no choice but to stick with my corporate job to pay the bills.
I've been feeling like a failure a lot lately over the realization that my dream may never happen for me, or that if it does, it won't be until much further in the future, and just trying to come to terms with this.
It's comforting to be reminded that it doesn't make you a failure or take away from who you are as a creative. I don't have a lot of other creative people in my life, so when those I'm closest to hear my plans aren't working out, it always feels like there's this unspoken (though sometimes it's spoken) assumption that I must be doing something wrong or not putting in enough work, which is frustrating. It's just nice to be understood.