The people you think are doing it all are the people who will read this and think ‘that sounds like me.’ Pausing can sometimes be the most productive, and certainly healthiest, thing we can do. You must come first, always x
Oh my friend, I am so sorry - know that I am right there with you, bereft at the knowledge that I absolutely have to go back to other work, and (for now) give up this dream that I worked SO SO hard for. I understand the feelings of failure. The physical, as well as emotional grief. If it helps, I can say to you that it is just a bump, it is not permanent, but know that I say that feeling the exact opposite for myself. It is so so hard, I completely understand, and I am holding your hand as we walk through this.
Oh Natalie, it’s so hard isn’t it. Feeling like you’ve had to give up on your dreams. I can’t help but thing of all the what ifs, had I just done things differently maybe I’d have been able to keep it all. How I’d finally felt alive and like I was living, instead of stuck in some corporate parallel universe. Thank you 💛 your message means so much.
I get it, I feel cheated too, and having worked my arse off in service for 30 years I thought I finally "deserved" to be able to follow my own dreams/passion. I did have a moment where I thought I would just put it all away and chastised myself for being so stupid to think I could have made it work, that I could have been anything more than another cog in the machine. But then I had a voice, very clearly, tell me "how dare you not keep trying. If you have to get another job, get a job. But you have more important things to do, your work is needed, so do not stop altogether, how dare you not keep singing the song of the wild now you've heard it". I don't know if that helps you Emily, but I think there's probably a similar voice for you. I think we just get to have the very circuitous path to our dreams. But we'll get there eventually.
Well done Emily. It is very hard to listen to your body and soul, rather than the cultural conditioning to move forward at any cost. By simply posting this you are helping others recognize they may be needing a pause as well. It's as if you gave all of us permission to tune in to our deepest needs.
Any of the other writers I follow here on Substack have noticed little or no drop-off from taking a pause and one I read recently had their audience grow because they were being truthful with their readers.
Take all the time you need, we will be waiting when you get back.
Thank you Donna. I’ve been resisting for so long, thinking I’d be able to juggle it all somehow, do all the things that I wanted. But circumstances don’t always allow. 💛
I won't say I know exactly how you feel because of course only you do, but I know well some of the elements you share here. Both types of days are real I think, and neither type is invalidated by experiencing the other. We perceive seasons of resting as 'not doing' but in fact we learn and change through these times and grow into a subtly new self, and at the right time other growth begins again. Sending love (and empathy) xxx
Thanks Lou. I think the hardest part is that I don’t want to pause this work, I want to not have to do the work that pays the bills and that’s taking all my physical, emotional and mental energy and leaving none for the work that my heart wants to do.
You won’t get left behind. Giving yourself space when you need it is always a good idea. You’ll be rested and recharged when you unpause. We’re all looking forward to it but take as much time as you need, friend. 🫶
Thank you. Taking the time has really helped for sure. And it didn't last long. When I wrote this, I thought it would be for a long time. I felt like I was being forced into having to pause - prioritising things that I would have chosen to give up and pausing things I wanted to continue. But life and lemons and all that - now I'm making lemonade!
@The Daily Taoist here. You're traversing through an emotional jungle, and that's OK. It's part of the human journey, and it's a testament to your authenticity that you’re brave enough to voice this pain. It's natural to feel this intense friction within yourself—the resilient part clashing with the vulnerable part. It's Tao, the interplay of yin and yang, the light and the dark. Both aspects of yourself are real and integral.
What you're feeling is far from melodrama. Let's face it, the pressures of modern life can feel like a straitjacket at times. Our societal paradigm celebrates the grind, so pausing feels like a failure. But it’s not. Our worth isn't dictated by how much we produce or how well we juggle life's demands. The Tao teaches us the value of wu wei, of "non-action," which isn't about doing nothing but about aligning your actions with your nature.
Take this pause as an invitation to realign with your true self. A pause isn't a full stop; it's a comma in the long sentence of life. And while you pause, your life continues—it just flows in a different direction. The river that stops to broaden its banks doesn't cease being a river; it becomes a lake, deep and rich with new kinds of life.
Concerns about missed opportunities and ideas moving on without you are understandable, but remember, opportunity isn't a train that you miss once and it's gone forever. It's more like a river's current. If you're not ready to jump in now, there'll be other chances downstream.
Your transparency may bring others comfort, too. Know that it's perfectly alright to put things on hold, to reassess and regather. I respect your decision to hold space for the project that resonates deeply with you—the Children’s Christmas book. Prioritize what aligns with your spirit.
Trust in the wisdom of your experience. After this pause, you won't be the same person, and that's the point. The true nature of the Tao is change and flow. You may find that when you come back, you're stronger and more authentic than ever before.
Be kind to yourself on this journey, and take the time you need to heal and rediscover your essence. You're not letting anyone down by taking this pause. You're showing up for yourself in the most important way possible right now.
Till we meet again on the path. Stay well and take care.
Thank you so much Will, for your kind and thoughtful words, and for taking such time and care to write them to me. I can't tell you how much they have helped. I have read them many times and didn't know how quite to respond to such generosity. Thank you. My pause ended up being only a few short weeks, and your words about coming back stronger and more authentic than every before have proved to be true.
Dear Emily, as someone who was afraid to step on the breaks when it was needed, I can only say: this is the right choice. You won't get left behind because continuing while you know it's best to take a break will only cause a much longer, more difficult pause in the long run. Wishing you lots of rest, take care!
I just found your work and it's right up my alley, so I'll be excited if/when you come back. I think a lot about how much I use the F word on myself, and I think it comes up the most when I pause the things I love because I just can't. Thanks for being open and, as a result, relatable. I hope you find rest. <3
Thanks so much Brandon, so kind of you to reach out and comment. I’ve been overwhelmed by the response and it’s helped me to feel better about having to make such a tight choice 💛
We are taught in our culture to toughen up and just go for it, just keep going, keep pushing, keep striving, whatever the cost. I'm so glad you chose yourself instead, your truth. Sending you love. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is hard to write those words, but you Sontheim right things. First things first and that is you. The world won‘t stop turning, but it still be there. And so will we. Take care of yourself!
The people you think are doing it all are the people who will read this and think ‘that sounds like me.’ Pausing can sometimes be the most productive, and certainly healthiest, thing we can do. You must come first, always x
Thank you for not giving up on me 💛
Oh my friend, I am so sorry - know that I am right there with you, bereft at the knowledge that I absolutely have to go back to other work, and (for now) give up this dream that I worked SO SO hard for. I understand the feelings of failure. The physical, as well as emotional grief. If it helps, I can say to you that it is just a bump, it is not permanent, but know that I say that feeling the exact opposite for myself. It is so so hard, I completely understand, and I am holding your hand as we walk through this.
Oh Natalie, it’s so hard isn’t it. Feeling like you’ve had to give up on your dreams. I can’t help but thing of all the what ifs, had I just done things differently maybe I’d have been able to keep it all. How I’d finally felt alive and like I was living, instead of stuck in some corporate parallel universe. Thank you 💛 your message means so much.
I get it, I feel cheated too, and having worked my arse off in service for 30 years I thought I finally "deserved" to be able to follow my own dreams/passion. I did have a moment where I thought I would just put it all away and chastised myself for being so stupid to think I could have made it work, that I could have been anything more than another cog in the machine. But then I had a voice, very clearly, tell me "how dare you not keep trying. If you have to get another job, get a job. But you have more important things to do, your work is needed, so do not stop altogether, how dare you not keep singing the song of the wild now you've heard it". I don't know if that helps you Emily, but I think there's probably a similar voice for you. I think we just get to have the very circuitous path to our dreams. But we'll get there eventually.
Thank you Natalie, yes it does. So much. 💛
Well done Emily. It is very hard to listen to your body and soul, rather than the cultural conditioning to move forward at any cost. By simply posting this you are helping others recognize they may be needing a pause as well. It's as if you gave all of us permission to tune in to our deepest needs.
Any of the other writers I follow here on Substack have noticed little or no drop-off from taking a pause and one I read recently had their audience grow because they were being truthful with their readers.
Take all the time you need, we will be waiting when you get back.
Sending restful vibes💕
Thank you Donna. I’ve been resisting for so long, thinking I’d be able to juggle it all somehow, do all the things that I wanted. But circumstances don’t always allow. 💛
I won't say I know exactly how you feel because of course only you do, but I know well some of the elements you share here. Both types of days are real I think, and neither type is invalidated by experiencing the other. We perceive seasons of resting as 'not doing' but in fact we learn and change through these times and grow into a subtly new self, and at the right time other growth begins again. Sending love (and empathy) xxx
Thanks Lou. I think the hardest part is that I don’t want to pause this work, I want to not have to do the work that pays the bills and that’s taking all my physical, emotional and mental energy and leaving none for the work that my heart wants to do.
That's very hard indeed, I am so sorry you have to make that choice at the moment. I hope you will be able to begin what you love doing again soon.
You won’t get left behind. Giving yourself space when you need it is always a good idea. You’ll be rested and recharged when you unpause. We’re all looking forward to it but take as much time as you need, friend. 🫶
Thank you Beth 💛
Sending you love, thank you for sharing it’s so inspiring, and incredibly strong ❤️
Thanks Claire. I hope I will look back on it and feel strong. At the moment, I just feel like I’m giving up 😕
Sometimes you just need to pause(yes!), dig a well, stay awhile, and refresh your soul. No shame.💧💦
Thank you. Taking the time has really helped for sure. And it didn't last long. When I wrote this, I thought it would be for a long time. I felt like I was being forced into having to pause - prioritising things that I would have chosen to give up and pausing things I wanted to continue. But life and lemons and all that - now I'm making lemonade!
There you go, and everyone loves lemonade!🍋
@The Daily Taoist here. You're traversing through an emotional jungle, and that's OK. It's part of the human journey, and it's a testament to your authenticity that you’re brave enough to voice this pain. It's natural to feel this intense friction within yourself—the resilient part clashing with the vulnerable part. It's Tao, the interplay of yin and yang, the light and the dark. Both aspects of yourself are real and integral.
What you're feeling is far from melodrama. Let's face it, the pressures of modern life can feel like a straitjacket at times. Our societal paradigm celebrates the grind, so pausing feels like a failure. But it’s not. Our worth isn't dictated by how much we produce or how well we juggle life's demands. The Tao teaches us the value of wu wei, of "non-action," which isn't about doing nothing but about aligning your actions with your nature.
Take this pause as an invitation to realign with your true self. A pause isn't a full stop; it's a comma in the long sentence of life. And while you pause, your life continues—it just flows in a different direction. The river that stops to broaden its banks doesn't cease being a river; it becomes a lake, deep and rich with new kinds of life.
Concerns about missed opportunities and ideas moving on without you are understandable, but remember, opportunity isn't a train that you miss once and it's gone forever. It's more like a river's current. If you're not ready to jump in now, there'll be other chances downstream.
Your transparency may bring others comfort, too. Know that it's perfectly alright to put things on hold, to reassess and regather. I respect your decision to hold space for the project that resonates deeply with you—the Children’s Christmas book. Prioritize what aligns with your spirit.
Trust in the wisdom of your experience. After this pause, you won't be the same person, and that's the point. The true nature of the Tao is change and flow. You may find that when you come back, you're stronger and more authentic than ever before.
Be kind to yourself on this journey, and take the time you need to heal and rediscover your essence. You're not letting anyone down by taking this pause. You're showing up for yourself in the most important way possible right now.
Till we meet again on the path. Stay well and take care.
Thank you so much Will, for your kind and thoughtful words, and for taking such time and care to write them to me. I can't tell you how much they have helped. I have read them many times and didn't know how quite to respond to such generosity. Thank you. My pause ended up being only a few short weeks, and your words about coming back stronger and more authentic than every before have proved to be true.
Take care, Emily 😘
Thank you Susan 💛
Dear Emily, as someone who was afraid to step on the breaks when it was needed, I can only say: this is the right choice. You won't get left behind because continuing while you know it's best to take a break will only cause a much longer, more difficult pause in the long run. Wishing you lots of rest, take care!
I just found your work and it's right up my alley, so I'll be excited if/when you come back. I think a lot about how much I use the F word on myself, and I think it comes up the most when I pause the things I love because I just can't. Thanks for being open and, as a result, relatable. I hope you find rest. <3
Thanks so much Brandon, so kind of you to reach out and comment. I’ve been overwhelmed by the response and it’s helped me to feel better about having to make such a tight choice 💛
Sending you so much love Emily. Witnessing your heart ache and holding you from afar xxx
Thank you Lauren ♥️
We are taught in our culture to toughen up and just go for it, just keep going, keep pushing, keep striving, whatever the cost. I'm so glad you chose yourself instead, your truth. Sending you love. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Silvia ♥️
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is hard to write those words, but you Sontheim right things. First things first and that is you. The world won‘t stop turning, but it still be there. And so will we. Take care of yourself!
Thank you Susanne 💛
Big hug to you Emily. Pause, rest and show up when you’re ready. Your words & your work is so valued and so are you ♥️
Thank you Linn 💛
Thank you for sharing Emily. Sending you love and light whilst you take this time out. 🙏💫
Thank you Louise 💛